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extrasad:

i really wanna kiss you and be cute with you and fall asleep in your arms and go on stupid dates but i also sort of want to light you on fire and throw myself into traffic so idk

(via glorbeta)

boxedjellyfish: I wish my whole vocab was as great as this line.

boxedjellyfish:

I wish my whole vocab was as great as this line.

(via rememberthebestmemories)

teenytigress: SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

(via thehilariousblog)

googlehomo:

why is “fuck you” an insult like hell yea fuck me fuck me hard

(Source: slydigger, via embers-fade)

no but just imagine security guards at concerts

  • guard: oh here come the faggots
  • guard: why are they so skinny
  • guard: do not jump into the crowd i don't want to grab your crack
  • guards: why are there 12 year old girls throwing bras on the stage
  • guards: what am i doing with my life

pleasecornetobrazil:

pleasecornetobrazil:

im not high mom im just happy

happy i blazed that dank ass weed

(via warm-mylonelynights)

tabikato:

astutebiscuit:

thekawaiiesturl:

shaydee604:

This is what happens when white guys listen to Indian music

is this what guys do at sleepovers

This is exactly what guys do at sleepovers I wish I were fucking kidding I’ve done pretty much this exact thing.

^^^^ It’s true man. 

(Source: videohall, via mriloveyourhat)

death-by-lulz: This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

death-by-lulz:

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

deucebowl:

a fancy asian restaurant called “Suit and Thai”

(via make-me-lmfao)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

“tell me when,” the waiter says as he starts grating my parmesan cheese on my pasta. i sit there in silence and watch as the restaurant fills with cheese and suffocates everyone

(via moistpits)

miss-doctorwho:

foreveralone-lyguy:

My sister got this at a jump rope camp

image

its supposed to say rope

(Source: foreveralone-lyguy, via memetasticblogger)

discocitronnade:

one time when i was a freshman the last bell for the end of seventh period rang and as i was walking out of world geography there was this guy that was SO HAPPY AND EXCITED i guess because it was friday and he ran directly towards the window and he just JUMPED OUT

he JUMPED OUT OF THE WINDOW AND WE WERE ON THE THIRD FLOOR

everybody looked out the window to see if he was ok and when we looked down he was already walking off like absolutely nothing had happened

(Source: discocitronnade-old, via laugh-until-you-drop)

joelle-elizabeth:

ulyssee:

cigs4kids:

what if grass licked your feet when you stepped on it

i would do a split

Oh my GOD

(via shrebbles)

10knotes: This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

10knotes:

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

(Source: memewhore)

laughinggaschamber:

Things that make me fall asleep really fast.

  • when someone hums quietly.
  • when my hair gets played with.
  • when someone whispers a story to me.
  • when someone traces my skin.
  • chloroform. 

(Source: following-moons, via glorbeta)

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