i really wanna kiss you and be cute with you and fall asleep in your arms and go on stupid dates but i also sort of want to light you on fire and throw myself into traffic so idk
SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY
why is “fuck you” an insult like hell yea fuck me fuck me hard
- guard: oh here come the faggots
- guard: why are they so skinny
- guard: do not jump into the crowd i don't want to grab your crack
- guards: why are there 12 year old girls throwing bras on the stage
- guards: what am i doing with my life
im not high mom im just happy
happy i blazed that dank ass weed
This is what happens when white guys listen to Indian music
is this what guys do at sleepovers
This is exactly what guys do at sleepovers I wish I were fucking kidding I’ve done pretty much this exact thing.
^^^^ It’s true man.
“tell me when,” the waiter says as he starts grating my parmesan cheese on my pasta. i sit there in silence and watch as the restaurant fills with cheese and suffocates everyone
My sister got this at a jump rope camp
its supposed to say rope
one time when i was a freshman the last bell for the end of seventh period rang and as i was walking out of world geography there was this guy that was SO HAPPY AND EXCITED i guess because it was friday and he ran directly towards the window and he just JUMPED OUT
he JUMPED OUT OF THE WINDOW AND WE WERE ON THE THIRD FLOOR
everybody looked out the window to see if he was ok and when we looked down he was already walking off like absolutely nothing had happened
what if grass licked your feet when you stepped on it
i would do a split
Oh my GOD
Things that make me fall asleep really fast.
- when someone hums quietly.
- when my hair gets played with.
- when someone whispers a story to me.
- when someone traces my skin.